


Insecure (But Not For Long)

by shewasagaystripper



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Eating Disorder (implied), Insecurity, M/M, anyway Roger is :( and Brian makes him feel better again, it depends on the interpretation of the reader, like its not really, what shall I say??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 15:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16621487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewasagaystripper/pseuds/shewasagaystripper
Summary: Brian proves to his boyfriend that there’s absolutely no reason to be insecure about his body.





	Insecure (But Not For Long)

_Name: Freddie Mercury. Height: 5’9 ft. Weight: 117 lbs_

_Name: Brian May. Height: 6’2 ft. Weight: 145 lbs_

_Name: John Deacon. Height: 5’11 ft. Weight: 136 lbs_

The numbers danced before his eyes, but the combination of ciphers he was looking at right now, was keeping him in its grasp even more.

Roger pulled off a wronged pout as he stared down at the little red gauge, which carelessly pointed at the bolded number on the analogue weighing scale that was supposed to represent his current weight. With a bit of a frustrated sign, he got off the flat device, seeing the gauge fall back to ‘zero,’ and immediately going up again as he carefully treaded on the device he both loved and cursed, until the thin red stick reached the place it had been resting before once again, not deviating a single millimetre from its first location. No changes, neither positive nor negative; no escape from the dissatisfying ciphers he was facing for the second time that evening and the seventh time that day. He checked the numbers twice more by stepping on- and off the bathroom scale, before despondently nudging the damned thing far enough under the double bed again with his bare left foot to not be able to see it anymore.

Now that he had gotten rid of the physical presence of the bathroom scale (but not of the emotional effects of it yet), Roger turned around to look at himself in the tall dressing mirror attached to the door of the wooden wardrobe closet. Resting his arms next to his sides, he slowly let his eyes travel up his bare legs, waist, and torso. Moment like these were always the worst, he decided – the times when he came right out of the shower and was forced to look at his body while having nothing to hide behind apart from the thin fabric of his boxers, which basically was no help to him at all. The drummer stared down at his feet and bit him bottom lip insecurely while bringing his hand up to his hip, pinching and squeezing the skin between his fingers, and starting to feel worse about himself with every passing second. He genuinely cursed every ounce of fat that covered his body, he despised every millimetre of excess flesh around his hips and waist and belly and every other body part. Changing his position or stretching his body didn’t really make anything look better; it only reminded him of how badly he wanted to lose those damned pounds.

Though he knew somewhere deep inside that he shouldn’t, Roger kept looking (and criticising) himself in the life-size mirror in front of him – and the longer he looked at himself, the more problem areas he could inwardly point out. From the gap of space between his thighs that he found to be too small to his cheeks that never seemed to thin out a little – there were a million things he would want to change about himself, but whatever he tried, it never worked. Drinking only water and cutting out all sorts of sweet or fat or otherwise unhealthy foods had hardly made a difference, and secretly working out when nobody was around the small London apartment they all shared hadn’t paid off either. To be able to see the evidence of how he continued to fail at losing weight black on white since the interviews of last month, was only decreasing the little amount of self-confidence he had managed to hold onto through the past weeks. He felt like the rest of the band would always be skinnier than him, no matter what he tried, and it was making him feel more self-conscious than anybody would ever imagine someone as loud and bright like him could possibly be.

With a heavy, defeated sigh, Roger plumped down on the double bed behind him, immediately crossing his arms over his lap to conceal the rolls of fat that formed at his belly area when he sat down, which was something he tried to avoid at all costs lately, not wanting to draw any attention to this specific problem area of his body. Though lately, he seemed to think every part of his body was rather problematic; he could point out countless things he wanted to change about himself – that was, countless pounds he wanted to lose. While half-glancing at himself mirror, half looking away from the reflecting glass, he imagined what it would be like to really be skinny. To look like John, or Brian, or even better, like Freddie, who, according to both his physique and the numbers in the interviews, was definitely the thinnest between the four of them. What would it be like to stand on the weighing scale and look down to find the number of 117, rather than the unchanging, nerve-wracking, disastrous amount he was forced to look at many times a day? Or if wanting to have the same body type of Freddie was too much to ask for, then what would it be like to simply look like someone skinny? Like _anyone_ around him except for him, as it seemed lately?

When he heard the front door being unlocked and pushed open as silently as possible, he knew it could only be one person, the only one in the house who would take notice of the time it was and therefore tread inside their apartment silently – Brian. Usually, he would have been waiting all night for his boyfriend to get home from the pub or the library or the self-established astronomy club or whatever place he had been staying at, but tonight, Roger didn’t really feel like running towards his lover and have Brian wrap his arms around him and kiss the top of his head, like he would always do when they had been apart for a considerable amount of hours. In all honesty, he didn’t feel like facing Brian at all, let alone have the older man touch him. And it wasn’t anything Brian had said or done to him; it was nothing he had any influence on in any possible way. It was simply that Roger was starting to feel more and more insecure about himself every time he was with the guitarist, whose slender physique, visible ribcage, and long, skinny limbs were a source of both jealousy and insecurity to the drummer, who longed to have a willowy frame just like Brian.

Luckily, Brian seemed to have chosen to catch up with John and Freddie, the both of who were watching TV in the living room, which gave Roger a little more time to throw on some more clothes before the guitarist would walk into their bedroom. Roger could hear the voices of the three of them through the thin walls of their house, interspersed with giggles and resounding laughter, and he felt like the loneliest person in the world as he quietly slipped into an over-sized grey T-shirt of his boyfriend’s and a random pair of crumpled black pyjama pants he found on the bedroom floor, trying to cover up as much as possible and hope that Brian would be too tired to look at him too much.

Though Brian’s little encounter with Freddie and John only lasted a few minutes, this amount of time was more than enough for Roger to compare his own cursed body with Brian’s beautifully tall, lean, and slim one so much that it managed to draw tears into his eyes, and it definitely wasn’t the first time this happened. He just _hated_ the way he looked lately, he _hated_ it from the bottom of his heart, and he envied Brian and Freddie and John and everybody else around him for being everything he couldn’t seem to be, though _‘everything’_ was describable with one word consisting of only one syllable: thin.

As he heard Brian’s footsteps in the hallway, he quickly wiped the few lines of tears that had escaped his eyes somewhere along the way off his cheeks, and he silently, reluctantly slipped beneath the covers, pretending to be sound asleep.

# # #

The door of the bedroom opened softly, and Roger could detect the faint beam of light from the hallway though his slightly parted eyelids, which he then pressed close again before Brian could see that he wasn’t actually sleeping. In the rush of having to pretend to have fallen asleep, he hadn’t managed to turn around and face the wall instead of Brian’s side of the bed, and therefore he had to be even more careful to pretend to be out of consciousness, given that Brian could be highly observant if he wanted to. Though most people gradually lost their ability to pay attention over the course of the evening, Brian seemed to be extra vigilant at night, and Roger really didn’t feel like facing his lover right now. Therefore, he stayed sound- and motionless while Brian treaded into their room and almost closed the door behind him, but not fully – ever since he had found out that Roger didn’t feel comfortable in the darkness, he left the door slightly ajar to allow a little light from the hallway into their room. At first, it had embarrassed Roger that somebody found out about his childlike fear of darkness, but of course, Brian had never made fun of it or used it against him; in fact, he was the one who proposed leaving on a light at night, and right now, Roger was actually rather glad that he’d been honest Brian about his fear of the dark. But right now, he cursed the small beam that still managed to emit a considerable amount of light, given that it would make it easier for Brian to see that he wasn’t sleeping, and, most of all, easier for Brian to see him and his bony body in general. Suddenly, for the first time in tears, despite his fear, Roger wished for complete darkness, which he naturally did not get.

‘Roger? I’m back,’ Brian whispered into the silent room, and upon getting no reply, he tiptoed inside the bedroom and sat down on his side of the mattress, back turned towards his boyfriend, but looking over his shoulder to catch a glance at the ‘sleeping’ drummer. Though he kept his eyes tightly shut, Roger could almost _see_ the small smile that would form on Brian’s face when he watched him in his state of tiredness, which now did not comfort him like it usually would – in fact, it only made him more nervous to know that Brian looked at him as if he was the best thing that had ever happened to him, assuming that he would be so disappointed in him if he would _really_ get to take a look at his boyfriend now.

To make matters worse, Roger felt Brian placing a hand on his side of the mattress, after which he continued to lean in, and Roger had to keep himself from grimacing when he eventually felt Brian stroking his face, softly and delicately. This was also something he used to adore, but right now, he preferred Brian’s fingers to stay as far away as possible from his cheeks, which he lately found to be way too round and chubby. Unfortunately for him, Brian didn’t seem to mind this and gladly continued caressing his cheek, even though Roger thought it was impossible to not have noticed his currently way too high amount of excess body fat. _Could Brian really not see everything that was wrong about him? Could he really not see how awfully fat he looked?_

Roger nearly – but just not yet, to prevent being caught – sighed in relief when Brian pulled his hand away from his cheek and stood up from the bed. Through half-opened eyelids, Roger could see Brian’s long fingers travelling to the button- and zipper of his tight, velvet trousers, smoothly opening them and effortlessly pushing the velour fabric down narrow hips and skinny legs. Roger watched in envy and insecurity at Brian’s stick-like limbs, of which the shape became even more apparent now that they were uncovered, as well as the enviable wide thigh gap between his legs. He managed to catch a glimpse of the jutting hip bones when Brian stretched his body to pull his tightfitting white shirt over his head , after which Roger could no longer stare at just his hip bones; he found himself now being drawn to his lover’s torso and ribcage, of which the skin was located to the underlying ribs so directly, without even the slightest hint of the presence of any body fat at all, that it nearly made him look emaciated – in a good way, that was. Brian was standing with his side turned towards him as he tried to disentangle the mess of sleeves and armholes that was his shirt after sloppily having pulled it off his enviable body, and his flat chest and overall slenderness made Roger want to curl up in the corner of the room and literally starve himself into enough weight loss to be able to be classified as ‘slightly to moderately underweight,’ just like Brian. Brian, with his stick-like limbs and his narrow waist and overall thin physique, was so fucking _perfect_ , while he was… simply _him_. Chubby. Fat. In desperate need to lose more than just a few pounds.

‘Darling, you can stop pretending to be asleep, because I know you’re not,’ Brian suddenly said as he first carefully folded up the pair of jeans he had just discarded. He sloppily threw them onto the antique armchair in the corner of the room that was starting to function as a laundry basket rather than a chair with every passing day, and Roger’s eyes snapped open in wonder. Admittedly, Brian could be observant, but how could the guitarist tell that he hadn’t actually have fallen asleep already if he hadn’t even been facing him? ‘Don’t look so surprised, Roger. I’ve known you for a while, I can tell when you’re faking sleep after all these years,’ Brian answered the unasked question calmly, and Roger blushed – he should have known better indeed. Luckily, Brian didn’t sound even the slightest hurt or disappointed about the discovery of his boyfriend trying to avoid contact with him; he just sounded kind like always, with a hint of protectiveness, probably because he assumed Roger was tired after a long day of studio work. This presumption of Brian’s thoughts was confirmed when he asked Roger just that.

‘Tired, dear?’ Brian asked as he glanced over to look at Roger while he pulled off a pretty convincing yawn; unlike the earlier situation of him being ‘asleep’, Brian now couldn’t tell if this was fake or not.

‘Hm-hm…’ Roger mumbled, not so much the sound, but the tone in which he expressed it indicating that he was tired indeed.

‘I know, it’s been a long day for you,’ Brian said compassionately. ‘But you’re not too tired to have a little fun, right? I’ve been waiting to be with you all day,’ Brian casually informed him, but Roger felt his stomach turn into knots at just this confession. He had kind of foreseen these words, but now that he actually got to hear them coming from his boyfriend’s mouth, made him even more nervous than he could have imagined in the first place. Of course, he knew that Brian was going to bring up the subject of being intimate somewhere pretty soon, given that Roger had successfully managed to prevent or otherwise escape any situations which included him having to show more skin than he was comfortable with – which was basically doing as much as taking off a sock at the moment – for weeks at least, but did Brian really have to feel the need to try and get at it today, now that Roger felt even worse about himself than other times?

Roger fumbled for a spoken answer, a gesture, anything to casually turn down the idea of his partner’s, but ended up not finding a proper response, so a short silence fell into the room while Brian refashioned the stack of clothes he had gotten rid of a few minutes earlier while staying quiet, as he was probably waiting for a reply. When this awaited reply never arrived, Brian simply lifted the duvet, making Roger hastily grab his side of the soft cream coloured quilt in a reflex to keep his body covered. Brian lay down on his own side of the mattress, but after having switched on the nightlight and having turned on the alarm clock for the next morning, he soon found the older boy moving closer to him, and Roger swallowed painfully when he could feel Brian spooning against him. This might have been a nice position if he was feeling better about himself, but why did Brian always feel the need to completely wrap his perfect, slender body around Roger’s on days he felt as awful about his appearance as he did today?

On top of his insecurity, it wasn’t just the overall thinness of Brian’s bony body that Roger could feel pressing against him and which was making him feel uncomfortable; it was also the beginning of what he feared would soon turn into a raging erection, if things were going to proceed this way, that he could feel against his upper leg. Roger had already understood that Brian was definitely in for sex – if it hadn’t been for the hits he had dropped in words just a minute ago, it could have been deducted from the strained fabric of Brian’s boxers that Roger had already seen when he had been closely watching his boyfriend undress. He hadn’t only seen the jutting hip bones and thin shoulders of his lover, but also his slightly hardening cock through the fabric of his underwear. Another time, another place, Roger would have grinned at this and seized the opportunity of Brian being horny before they had even gotten into bed with both hands, but right now, all he wished was for Brian to simply fall asleep and let him escape the awkwardness of having to talk himself out of having sex yet again, though he knew Brian was never simply going to drowse off without at least having brought up the inevitable topic.

‘Have you just taken a shower? You smell wonderful,’ Brian whispered as he tried to manoeuvre his long, thin arms around Roger’s torso, but Roger tried to complicate this process by ‘accidentally’ shifting around on the bed and he hummed out something unintelligible in response. Unfortunately, Brian didn’t seem to feel his resistance and eventually managed to get a hold on his upper body, and Roger held his breath, trying to suck in as much of his tummy before Brian enveloped him in his arms, locking his hands on the small of Roger’s back, their foreheads touching softly. Usually, this would have been a lovely position to sleep in with the person Roger loved most in the entire world, but now, he wanted to do nothing but escape his lover’s hands that felt more like chains at the moment, especially when Brian smoothed his long, thin fingers over the fabric around Roger’s lower back.

‘Pyjamas again? I really can’t get used to the idea of you not sleeping in your underwear anymore,’ Brian said, and though the comment sounded rather neutral, Roger felt a sting of uneasiness in his stomach. _So Brian was starting to notice something._ _It was only going to be a matter of time before he will really discover what’s bothering me, and once he finds out, it will bother him as well._

The joke that followed this remark was what really made Roger feel uncomfortable by just how sexually teasing yet innocent it was: ‘Or are you trying to make the strip tease more impressive?’ Brian asked with a sly smile, and as Roger looked up at him, he found Brian flashing him a saucy wink. Swallowing painfully and once again not knowing what to say, Roger carefully turned away from Brian, turning over and facing the other way. He still allowed Brian to keep his arms around him because he didn’t want to give him the wrong idea, like the guitarist thinking he had hurt him or insulted him by something he’d said or done, since this wasn’t the case – everything he was insecure of was all his own fault. His breath circulation had turned superficial in his attempt to suck in his tummy even more now that Brian’s hands were resting on his front side, and he felt utterly uncomfortable with Brian’s slender arms around the area just below his ribcage.

Brian didn’t seem to notice his discomfort yet, and Roger didn’t know if he had to be glad or unhappy about this as the older man nuzzled at the damp tresses of his blond hair. The grip around his belly seemed to get tighter with every in- and exhalation, even though Roger knew that this was just an imaginary feeling caused by his own fear of Brian finding out about his struggles with his weight. Or wasn’t it just that…?

Roger found out that it was not just his own paranoia running away with him as he found Brian’s hand wandering off to catch the hem of his shirt between his fingers, his breath practically hitching in his throat when he felt Brian’s fingers fluttering against his cursed bare skin of his stomach while the unexpecting man asked him sensually: ‘Or would you rather have _me_ undressing you?’

 _I’d rather have no one undressing me, neither you nor me,_ Roger thought nervously as he only just managed to casually unfasten Brian’s hand from the place where it had been before by catching his arm under his elbow and pressing it against his side, forcing Brian to let his fingers go of his body and instead just rest against the mattress, which was the only place Roger wanted those digits to be at at the moment. Brian was not agreeing on this, unfortunately, as the hand Roger had just tried to put down was working its way up to his shirt again, this time to reveal his back, which made it harder for Roger to get rid of his intruding fingers again now that they were out of reach. He didn’t know if it was on purpose, or simply because Brian had always seemed to love tugging his clothes down from that side and expose his back first for some reason. Either way, Brian was still as cheerful and well-tempered as before, and since the boy he held in hands had turned his back on him, he didn’t notice both Roger’s expression and behaviour of restraint whatsoever.

‘You looked so amazing in the studio today, I could hardly keep my hands to myself,’ Brian said as his hand smoothed over the small of Roger’s back, making Roger bite his lip in worry as the hand crept under his shirt. ‘But I figured it was better to save it for the bedroom, don’t you think so, too?’ Brian chuckled softly as he comfortably nuzzled at Roger’s blond hair, but as Roger practically wriggled to attempt to get his hands and other body parts off his body, Brian finally seemed to notice something.

‘You sure are playing hard to get tonight, aren’t you?’ he chuckled at first as he gave Roger’s lower back a sensual rub, before finally, _finally_ withdrawing his hand as he added a more serious: ‘Or did I say something wrong?’

‘No, you didn’t,’ Roger comforted him bleakly without any further explanation, which turned out not to comfort Brian at all. Especially when Brian’s following question, which included asking the drummer what was going on with him if it hadn’t been something he had done, was met with a monotonous ‘nothing’ (that almost would have sounded indifferent, if Brian wouldn’t have heard the difficulty with which Roger managed to choke out the word), Brian seemed to be determined to find out what was wrong.

‘Tell me dear, what’s wrong? Why don’t you want me to touch you? Did something happen?’ Brian asked, sounding seriously worried, which Roger couldn’t stand; he could impossibly wave him away when Brian was as concerned and protective about him as he was right now.

‘Nothing, Bri. I’m just not feeling like it,’ Roger mumbled, immediately knowing Brian wouldn’t buy this pretext. Before his body image problems had started, he had _always_ been in for _everything_ , and it had usually been Brian who sometimes saw no other option than turning his proposal of making love down when he was still sprawled out all over the bed in his state of exhaustion after just having – or having been – fucked twice, while Roger was already ready to do it all over again. To now pretend as if he didn’t feel like having sex for weeks, was a pretext too out of the ordinary for the drummer to be believed by _anybody_ , especially not by his own boyfriend.

‘Not feeling like it? Roger, if you would tell me that once in a while, it would be okay, but you’ve been saying this to me for weeks at least, and it’s nothing like you to not want to hook up for a longer period than approximately two days,’ Brian snickered, but Roger couldn’t bring himself to follow his example. The more he listened to Brian’s voice, the more he felt his emotional and mainly physical presence against his body and soul, the more insecure he felt himself growing about his own body, which seemed to feel heavier with every second, and he wanted to do nothing but fall asleep and simply wake up skinny, away from this mental nightmare. Brian’s hand shaking his shoulder didn’t really help him drifting off, though.

‘Tell me, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?’ Brian asked nearly flirtatiously as he draped the other arm over Roger’s side again and leant over and kiss his boyfriend’s jawline, which was the last sign of affection Roger needed to know for sure that he wanted Brian to stop doing such things while he was feeling awful about himself.

‘Can you please stop doing that?’ he managed quietly, instantly regretting it when Brian spoke up.

‘Stop doing what?’ Brian asked immediately, relieved that he had found some kind of starting point that might help him find out why Roger was as closed and distant right now.

‘Just… Trying to persuade me to have sex, because it’s not happening. Sorry Bri, I know you were probably looking forward to this, but I don’t want to…’ Roger said, then didn’t know how to save himself out of the sentence he had started, and therefore tried something completely different. ‘I’ll make it up to you another time,’ Roger announced more sternly than he had intended to do, which immediately made him feel bad about his attitude as he heard Brian sighing softly.

‘You don’t have to make up with me. You don’t owe me anything,’ Brian started, suddenly sounding very sincere, but at the same time defeated. ‘I know that, but it’s just… why don’t you want to do anything lately? You used to be willing to do _anything_ , anytime, anyplace, and now you’ve been using the same story to escape sex for weeks. What did I do that’s making you this… distant? Come on, darling, you know you can be honest to me, you know I won’t be mad at you. Please, tell me,’ Brian nearly begged him, which was something Roger really couldn’t handle, simply for the fact that Brian seemed to blame himself for something he absolutely couldn’t help.

‘It’s not you! It’s me, alright?’ Roger said – and not in the usually irritated tone, just to take the blame and make Brian shut up about the topic, but because it really was the truth; the truth he felt like he couldn’t hide it any longer from his boyfriend, whose eyes seemed to burn right through his back. ‘And it’s not that I don’t want to have sex, because I do want to. I just… I don’t want you to see me like this,’ he managed painfully, the last words hardly audible in a whisper.

‘What do you mea… Like what?’ Brian asked him as he tried to lift the duvet, but Roger clung onto it right in time, folding it tightly around the body he was trying to hide so desperately.

‘Please, don’t!’ Roger nearly whimpered as he gripped onto the fabric tightly, which seemed to worry Brian even more. ‘Like the way I… I look lately. Come on, you must have noticed,’ Roger said as he bit his bottom lip. Though he had made a start, he wasn’t really ready to say the three-lettered F-word to somebody else, also – or maybe even especially – not to the only person he was intimate with.

After having thought for just a few seconds – in which he had miraculously managed to throw his arms around Roger again before he could even object to this – Brian said: ‘I have no idea what I should have noticed. You look just as positively edible as always to me.’

‘Don’t lie to me, Brian,’ Roger said with a shivery sigh, hardly managing to stop his bottom lip from trembling. ‘You know why I don’t want you to see me, a-and you shouldn’t want to see me either, looking like this-’

‘Like what?’ Brian interrupted him softly. ‘Darling, why would I not want to see you?’

‘Because I’m… fat, that’s why,’ Roger then answered softly, closing his eyes and not producing any sound or movement, even breathing silently while awaiting Brian’s response.

‘You… what did you just say?’ Brian asked in disbelief, but as Roger repeated that very specific word he had used just seconds before to describe himself with, Brian simply shook his head, softly at first, until he was shaking it rather furiously. ‘You can’t be serious. Please tell me you’re joking.’

‘I know it’s true, Brian! You can just say it to me-’

‘Roger, that’s the biggest nonsense I’ve heard since the ban on homosexuality this country used to have!’ Brian interrupted him. He didn’t even seem to hear his own suitable comparison – he was being dead serious, as was Roger. ‘You’re absolutely not fat, you’re perfectly skinny!’

‘Brian, please be honest to me. I know I’m far from skinny,’ Roger sighed helplessly.

‘I am being as honest as I’ve ever been! Roger, look at me,’ Brian said and tried to flip Roger around, but his boyfriend was using all that was within his power to avoid having to face him, so Brian gave up and simply said what he wanted to say without looking him in the eyes. ‘Seriously, you’re not fat or anything close to that. Where on earth did you get that idea?’ Brian asked him straight-forwardly, but Roger knew he would never take him seriously if he told him that the direct source of the problem was a simple band interview from over a month ago, so he tried something more general.

‘At… Just because I can see myself and my body, and I can _see_ that I’m fat, and you can see it, too! I know for a fact that you’re seeing it too.’

‘You’re imagining things, Roger!’ Brian exclaimed, before he added in a softer voice: ‘It’s all in that pretty little head of yours, angel. You’re skinny, _flawlessly_ skinny, and you’re perfect just the way you are. You’re the most beautiful boy I know and I wouldn’t want to change anything about you.’

‘You would. I bet you’d love me more if I was skinny,’ Roger mumbled.

‘Darling, no!’ Brian was practically shouting in disbelief that Roger would think about himself like this, and he sat upright and laid his hand on Roger’s side, but Roger shifted away from his touch, so he used his hands to count the arguments against Roger’s hurtful assumptions about himself instead. ‘First of all, you already _are_ skinny, and secondly, I couldn’t love you any more that I currently do, because I really love you, including everything about your body, with all my heart.’

Though Brian’s sentimentality did really touch Roger, he still wasn’t believing a word of the things Brian told him about his weight being just fine. ‘Brian, please! You just told me that I could be honest with you, then you shouldn’t lie to me either. You don’t have to spare my feelings.’

‘I’m not sparing your feelings, I’m telling you the truth! And I want you to look at me and tell me where you got this nonsense from,’ Brian demanded, ‘because _everyone_ can see that you’re just as skinny and healthy and pretty as you’ve always been.’

Ignoring the orders of facing him and wanting to know where he got the ‘nonsense’ from, Roger simply responded: ‘Well, I can’t see it! All I see is fat when I look at myself!’

‘Where? Where do you see it?!’ Brian, who seriously had no idea what his lover was talking about, asked him in disbelief – both because he couldn’t see him now that Roger was stubbornly turning his back on him, and because he had seen Roger many, many times before, so he was absolutely sure he had never seen a single excess pound of fat on his body that he had a right of wanting to lose.

‘Everywhere!’ Roger answered him, almost feeling ashamed at just how childish this ‘yes-and-no-game’ was starting to get, but in the heat of their discussion, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

‘Alright then, show me,’ Brian suddenly said, sounding perfectly calm and stable as he tore the duvet aside and stepped out of bed, pacing over to the other side of the bed to rid Roger of the quilt he had been hiding beneath, then turning him on his back and placing his hands under Roger’s armpits to drag him off the bed when his boyfriend tried to turn around again. This was to no avail, unfortunately – Brian was much stronger than Roger, and though Roger knew he was fighting a losing battle, he still gave it a weak shot by wriggling and struggling around to break free. Needless to say, this did not work due Brian’s determination to get him out of bed and drag him over to the mirror, which was Roger’s worst nightmare at the moment.

‘Brian, let go of me!’ Roger whined, but Brian decided not to listen to him, as he was under the assumption that he was fighting for a good cause – showing Roger that there was nothing wrong with his current weight.

‘Come here, you little troublemaker,’ Brian half-growled, half-chuckled as he simply lifted Roger off the mattress and placed the struggling drummer on his feet again, several inches away from the bed. ‘I wouldn’t have been able to do that if you really would have been fat, now would I?’ Brian asked with a wink, but he was sure that if looks could kill, he would not have been part of the human population of planet earth any longer. Realising that Roger was probably mad at him already for hauling him away from the save haven that was their bed, Brian decided that he might as well move on the way he currently was. Brian spun the smaller man around and gave Roger’s backside a playfully intended spank, an audible _smack!_ that didn’t actually hurt, but that certainly managed to indicate that Brian wanted Roger to move, which he did – he instinctively took a step forward the moment he felt Brian’s large hand connecting with his butt. Brian took advantage of this reflex of his boyfriend’s by pulling him along with him and placing him in front of the mirror.

‘Bri, don’t- don’t be like this!’ Roger complained when they had reached their destination, and Brian could hear by the crack in his voice and the way he was trying not to look at himself in the huge reflective surface right in front of them, that he was attempting not to burst into tears yet. Though making him cry was last of Brian’s aims, he really wanted to show Roger that he looked beautiful just the way he was, so the guitarist showed no mercy and kept Roger firmly in place.

‘Alright, there we go,’ Brian said calmly as he slipped both arms around Roger’s sides from behind, partly to support him and partly to keep the still objecting and writhing drummer right where he was. ‘Tell me what you see that you don’t like about yourself, because honestly, I can’t find a single thing.’

‘Brian, please! Everything about me looks just _wrong_!’ Roger said as he pinched his stomach through the fabric of his shirt – _Brian’s_ shirt, to be correct, which gave the guitarist an idea.

‘There’s nothing wrong with your stomach, let me show you,’ Brian said with a sly smile as he took the hem of the grey shirt between his fingers and pulled the fabric up all the way to Roger’s waist, making the other man practically squeal in shock and indignation.

‘Brian!’ Roger wheezed as he tried to tear Brian’s fingers away and pull his shirt down again, but Brian wasn’t having any of it and instead pulled Roger’s shirt further up his body, revealing all of his bare chest. As he tried to pull the shirt over the head of his struggling partner, Brian felt like a parent trying to undress his obstinate toddler son who didn’t want to change into his pyjamas to go to bed at three PM for an afternoon nap.

‘Excuse me if I’m wrong, but I figured that this is my shirt, isn’t it? And I would like to have it back, thank you very much,’ Brian chanted as he managed to pull the garment over his boyfriend’s head. Though he felt bad for Roger when he immediately felt the need to cover as much of the uncovered upper half of his body with just his arms and hands, Brian only just managed to oppress a chuckle when he looked at Roger’s both hateful and pouty expression.

‘Bri, don’t be cruel! Give it back,’ Roger whined reproachfully, struggling to break free from Brian’s iron hands as they grabbed both his sides and turned him towards the life-sized mirror on the door of their wardrobe again, the mirror Roger hated to see himself in. Usually, when he was all by himself, there was still a way of escaping by simply facing away. But now, with Brian physically keeping him in place, he could not walk away from himself or his body. ‘Brian, this isn’t funny. Give my shirt back-’

‘You’ll get it back once I’ve talked some sense back into that pretty head of yours,’ Brian interrupted him determinedly. He was feeling more confident now that he had finally succeeded in making Roger stand still – be it with both of Brian’s hands still tightly at his sides – in front of the mirror. ‘So what did you just say? Fat? Show me where.’

‘Don’t be so coy. It’s literally _everywhere_ ,’ Roger said disapprovingly as he pinched his right side, kneading the skin so tightly in his frustration that it turned red, and Brian batted his hand away.

‘Be careful with yourself, Rog. There’s no need to be this harsh to yourself,’ Brian lectured him, though Roger didn’t care at all and instantly took the skin between his forefinger and thumb again.

‘Why should I be careful?’ Roger questioned as he looked down at himself. ‘I’m all fat, and I hate it-’

‘You’re not all fat!’ Brian disagreed once again as he gave Roger’s tummy a soft, loving stroke that only turned out to make the blond man even more insecure, given that being touched was the last thing he wanted right now. ‘Darling, you _have_ fat, a small amount, like all of us do, but that doesn’t make you fat. Your body _needs_ some fat to protect your bones and your organs.’

‘ _I’m_ supposed to be the biologist here, May, not you. And I don’t have a small amount of fat, it’s way too much. It’s… you can pinch it, and you can see it, and… when I sit down, you can see all these… rolls,’ Roger squeaked, sounding almost too embarrassed to admit this.

‘Everyone has that! Look, when I sit down, I have the same!’ Brian said as he let go of Roger and sat down on the bed besides them. ‘Look at this, everybody has this,’ Brian said as he pointed at his own belly, but to Roger it looked like he was trying his very best to slump as much as possible to get somewhat of an effect of fat rolls, and still, even then, he could hardly see them on his boyfriend’s lanky, perfectly thin body.

‘You don’t _really_ have them, not the way I do. And besides, Freddie doesn’t have this at all.’

‘Yeah, but Freddie is Freddie!’ Brian said as he rolled his eyes, as if just that was an explanation for the lead singer’s impossibly thin body. ‘If you were to look up ‘Freddie Mercury’ in a dictionary, they would redirect you to ‘stick figure,’ Brian said, which Roger probably would have found to be funny another time, another place, but not now that he was desperately praying to have the body of that before mentioned stick figure. ‘You mustn’t compare yourself to him, or me, or anybody else. Oh darling, is that where all of this comes from? Comparing yourself to others?’

When Roger first looked at him, then shamefully faced away, Brian suddenly understood what was going on. ‘Roger, have you been comparing yourself to any of us? Freddie, John, or me?’ Brian asked as he slowly stood up from the bed and placed a step towards his boyfriend’s direction, but as he was nearing, Roger seemed to be trying to back away from him. Brian, now sure he was starting to understand what had been going on with Roger lately, asked him: ‘Roger, would you answer me? And please don’t walk away from me,’ Brian told him, though Roger chose not to listen to him. He simply walked right past him on his way to his side of the bed again, and when Brian shortly managed to catch his wrist between his fingers, Roger instantly, nearly violently tore it away from his grip, making Brian back off out of surprise for this for unexpectedly strong behaviour for a long enough period to plump down on the mattress and turn away from Brian once again.

Brian, knowing  that getting mad at Roger for his cold attitude would only be counterproductive, simply turned around to look at his lover, who was trying to find his position in bed again, and he asked sternly, yet calmly and in full understanding: ‘Roger, I’m asking you this once more, and I’m expecting to be answered. Have you been comparing yourself to us lately?’

‘How could I not?’ Roger said gloomily as he grabbed the duvets and pulled them over his half-uncovered  body, facing away from the questioner. ‘How could I not compare myself to others when I’m surrounded by beautiful, skinny people all day long?’

‘What? Roger, you can’t seriously have been thinking that, now can you?’ Brian asked him with a frown on his forehead, the light grey shirt all crumpled up between his fingers; the crinkly fabric gave him something to do, something to knead and to squeeze as he looked at his boyfriend.

‘I have, and you can’t blame me for that! Not since I’ve seen the numbers all written down, telling me and the rest of the world exactly how much skinnier all of you are,’ Roger answered, voice getting quieter and eventually die out at the end of the sentence, but by then, Brian had already caught the culprit of Roger’s body image problem.

‘What do you mean… Those interviews we did in Manchester last month?’ Brian asked as he slowly made his way towards Roger, carefully feeling where Roger’s legs were located before sitting down at a spot where he could feel nothing but mattress beneath the duvet. He was sitting at about the height of Roger’s knees, which meant that the two of them weren’t actually very close to each other, but Brian figured it would probably be a good thing to give Roger a little physical space at the moment, certainly now that he was mercilessly invading his mental personal space. ‘Oh God, it must have been, I remember you struggling to disclose your weight.’

‘Yes, because I was heaviest of all of us,’ Roger mumbled, chewing on his bottom lip.

‘That’s not true! You know that’s not true,’ Brian shook his head, then thought for a few seconds to recall the exact numbers. ‘You were… 136, I think? I’m way heavier than you, I’m 145.’

‘That’s not even a stone, and you’re also about ten inches taller than me. That doesn’t count,’ Roger pouted.

‘Four inches, you mean. In multiple aspects,’ Brian added with a grin, and Roger blushed as he felt his cock give a slight twitch at those words, which was the _last_ thing he wanted Brian to notice at the moment. Though they were currently thoroughly discussing their weight and the importance of it, he could simply _feel_ that Brian hadn’t let go of the previous subject – wanting to hook up – and that he would come back to this as soon as he saw an opportunity. And though Roger certainly didn’t mind having sex right now, not to say that he was actually quite in for it, his determination not to show anybody his body as long as it looked like this made him completely close up and shut the idea out of his – and hopefully also Brian’s – mind.

‘Very funny, Bri,’ Roger said instead, before quickly changing the subject back to the initial topic. 'You’re way skinnier than I am. Freddie weighs about twenty pounds less than I do, and John and me have the same weight, but he’s taller than I am.’

‘Yeah, one inch! You can’t even see it even if you two are standing right _next_ to each other. And as for Freddie,’ Brian said sternly as he felt like Roger was going to bring up the weight of their lead singer anyway, ‘I told you not to compare yourself to him. He might be… 117, I think?’ he guessed, and Roger nodded gloomily. ‘But he’s Persian, so naturally, his body type is way different from ours-’

‘Brian, you’re not fooling anybody but yourself. We all have the same skeleton underneath our skin. I could be just as skinny as he is if I would just watch my weight better,’ Roger told him.

Brian, not knowing how to respond to that, ended up stroking Roger’s leg and said regretfully: ‘Roger, I’m so sorry, we just never should have answered such personal questions.’

‘It’s okay, because this made me realise that I really… have to lose weight,’ Roger sighed, and Brian could see his cheeks, that were only just visible above the duvet that he had pulled up all the way to his chin to avoid Brian from seeing his body, turning crimson red at this confession, though Brian thought the only reason he should be ashamed of should be that he had been thinking about needing to lose weight in his current position.

‘You should what?! Roger, seriously, you’re the last person on earth who should be losing weight! Your current weight is perfect, both for your health and for your looks,’ Brian said, before he simply fell quiet, too overcome with surprise and misunderstanding to say anything more – all he could do was stare at his boyfriend and wonder what on earth had been going on in his mind lately, and how came that he hadn’t found out earlier than this stupid conversation. How could he not have noticed? What kind of boyfriend was he to Roger, if he hadn’t even seen this insecurity of his lover?

That the idea of losing weight being a right thing to do had really already inhabited in Roger’s thoughts, once again became evident when the boy  monotonously but completely seriously said to himself more than to his partner: ‘I’d be healthier and prettier if I was skinnier.’

‘No, you wouldn’t be! Roger, I’m dead serious when I tell you that you’re perfect the way you are. Less is not always more when it comes to weight, and it certainly isn’t in your case. You’re damn beautiful and healthy right now, and I don’t want you to change anything about yourself,’ Brian announced sternly, the hand that used to be stroking Roger’s leg now simply resting on the younger’s knee. ‘The only thing you’ll do is harm yourself.’

‘I won’t harm myself! I haven’t harmed by losing five pounds, and losing another stone won’t kill me-’

‘You’ve already lost five pounds?!’ Brian nearly spat out the words in his frustration and helplessness, and when he could see Roger nod his head, he sighed exorbitantly loudly, before simply leaning over and pulling Roger out of his closed position on the bed. He made him sit – and stay – upright by screwing his fingers around Roger’s right upper arm, which unfortunately only caused Roger to pull the covers tighter around his uncovered frame with his unrestrained hand, and look at Brian as if he had just attempted to violently murder him.

‘What are you doing?!’ Roger squealed, but Brian decided to ignore him and simply raised his slender index finger to Roger’s lips to indicate that he had to be silent, before speaking up in the most serious voice he could produce. He knew that gesturing for Roger to be quiet by placing his finger across his lips was an almost childish way of handling him, but he was desperate and willing to try anything to make his insecure boyfriend believe his honest words.

‘Alright, that’s it. You’re gonna listen to me. I want you to stop this nonsense right now. You are not in _any_ need of losing weight and I won’t have you continue these practices-’

‘Brian, stop it,’ Roger interrupted him as he shook himself apart from Brian’s gentle yet strong grip, reaching over to grab his boyfriend’s pillow and lying down on the mattress again with the newly acquired cushion pressed against his belly, arms tightly wrapped around it, leaving Brian to helplessly watch his insecure better half. ‘I’m not a five year old anymore, you can’t tell me what to do with my body. So I suggest you stop trying to convince me with your lies and let me go to sleep.’

‘Baby, I’m not lying to you when I’m telling you that you’re skinny and not in need to lose any weight!’ Brian said. ‘You’re seriously, seriously beautiful with your current weight, and I wouldn’t want you to change for the world, please believe me,’ he begged – to no avail, for Roger had already shut his eyes and was ignoring all of his pleads.

‘Can you just stop talking and lie down? I’m not really in the mood to be lectured,’ Roger mumbled, and Brian, though first looking at him in defeat and begrudgingly standing up from Roger’s side of the bed, suddenly came up with a new plan.

‘Of course, if that’s what you want,’ Brian answered slyly after having thought for a few seconds as he walked over to his own side of the bed, hopped onto it, and crawled as close as possible to Roger before lifting up the shared duvet and lying down under it. ‘But since you’ve stolen my pillow, I’m afraid we’ll have to share yours,’ he declared, sounding very satisfied with himself as he pressed his body up against Roger’s from behind. He nestled closely against the drummer, who swallowed painfully the moment he was not only confronted with Brian’s tall, skinny body against his own, but also with Brian’s half-hard cock pressing against the back of his upper leg. He was definitely much harder than he had been the first time he had pushed his body against Roger’s, and Roger cursed Brian for getting turned on right now, not to say that he cursed his own body even more for doing the same. Despite not wanting to give in to the feeling, despite trying to ignore Brian’s hardness against his leg and trying to think about a million other things to distract himself from the momentarily forbidden subject – whether or not they had set the alarm clock for the next morning, what time they were supposed to be in the studio, the bloody _weather_ even, for all he cared –  he could not keep his body from following Brian’s example. All he could do was awkwardly pressing the pillow against his lower body in an attempt to hide the developments currently going on in that area.

‘You should steal my pillow more often,’ Brian chuckled as his arms found their way around Roger’s bare torso again, simply ignoring the pillow he was using to cover himself up and slipping his arms below it. Roger, once again holding his breath in both anticipation and in an attempt to come across as skinny as possible right now, felt his heart pounding in his chest.

‘You know it’s not happening,’ Roger muttered as to distract his boyfriend while Brian was in the process of finding a position as close as possible to him, and with this, forcing his half-hard erection against him. Roger awkwardly attempted to create some space between the two of them, which again turned out not to work when Brian smoothly moved along with him. ‘I’m not doing it.’

Brian decided to ignore his statement and simply focussed on the words the drummer had used earlier that evening, which suggested that he was actually in the mood for some fun. ‘Come on, angel. You admitted earlier that you do want to,’ Brian whispered sensually as his hands crept a little below Roger’s belly, down to his underwear.

‘I said that I did want to, but only if I would look better than this,’ Roger reminded him, to which  Brian immediately opposed.

‘Roger, seriously, there’s nothing that could be bettered about the way you look! If you want to look better first, we’d probably never have sex again, because you’re already perfect to me,’ Brian answered as he rose up and pressed his lips against the side of Roger’s neck, to which he hardly responded as far as anyone could see on the outside – on the inside, though, he was screaming with neediness and lust.

‘Never have sex again? That sounds great to me,’ Roger muttered as he snuggled a little deeper into his pillow, as if to show that he was ready to go to sleep. In fact, he was more awake than ever – and so were his sexual organs – but this was not exactly the time to concede to these body reactions and Brian’s insufferable determination to talk him out of his clothes.

‘Darling, please,’ Brian sighed at Roger’s absoluteness. ‘You wouldn’t survive without me inside of you for longer than a week.’

‘Really? Then explain how I’m still alive after more than two weeks of not having sex,’ Roger argued in an attempt not to focus on his cock, that started to unfurl more and more with each of Brian’s sexually orientated remarks.

‘Hm… Knowing you, you probably jerked on an hourly basis,’ Brian chuckled, but as Roger continued to try and be indignant – and succeeding in this pretty well, even Brian had to admit – he added: ‘Just a joke, love. But I think it’s about time you learn that your body is gorgeous just the way it is right now. We don’t have to go all the way; I just want you to feel confident about yourself. This isn’t about me, it’s about you.’

‘This is about me? Your erection pressing against my butt begs to differ,’ Roger snorted indignantly, trying his very best not to press back against the secretly certainly not unpleasant feeling of Brian’s hardened flesh against his body.

‘The hardness of your cock makes me wonder if you can _really_ keep declining the offer of finally getting a proper shag after having bottled up your sexual frustration for weeks,’ Brian answered smoothly, and along with this replication, he saw his window of opportunity to move his hand below the hem of the restrictive underwear and let it wander towards Roger’s crotch.

Roger, being able to ignore this statement but not to completely dismiss the feeling of lust growing within not only Brian but also within himself, started to negotiate. ‘Look, Brian, I’ll gladly blow you or jerk you off or whatever you… you like…’ Roger managed, before he gradually became completely distracted by Brian’s hand, which had found its way to the body parts he had been trying to conceal. His fingertips first skittered lightly along the inside of Roger’s thighs, but soon started to carefully stroke his hardening cock through the fabric of his pyjama pants. ‘Brian, your… Can you remove…’

‘Remove my hand? I don’t think you _really_ want me to do that,’ Brian observed as his fingers moved across Roger’s hardening crotch, and Roger gasped at this unwanted discovery of Brian’s. ‘But as you were suggesting that you would do whatever I like…You know what I would like? I would like to flip you over and have you naked on all fours, so I can push myself inside of you and listen to your beautiful pleads while I fuck you so slowly and precisely that it will make you want to _scream_ ,’ Brian added in a hot whisper, and Roger groaned. ‘I’ll tease you for hours, and by the time I first touch your prostate…’ Brian continued dreamily, using one hand to tug his boyfriend’s underwear and pyjama pants down one inch at the time, while the other still worked around Roger’s dick, that was in serious need of more than just a little attention by now. ‘Heaven, you’ll be so ecstatic that you’ll have forgotten completely about whatever insecurities, because all you’ll be thinking about is when to move your hips in time with me to draw me in even deeper.’

‘Brian…’ Roger hardly oppressed a groan, bucking up against the feeling of Brian’s hand stroking him, slowly but steadily and oh so deliciously, moving his enviably long and slender fingers up and down his shaft. Though the touch of his fingers was familiar to Roger after a couple of years, this whole monologue of Brian’s was new to both of them. Brian was usually way too shy for dirty talk – he could never utter one word himself, and the things Roger would say to him to spice up their sex life usually resulted in Brian either starting to blush or starting to giggle uncomfortably, and with this, ruin the entire conversation, and sometimes even the things the conversation was supposed to lead to. Roger figured that Brian must have been _desperate_ right now after all these abstinent weeks to take up on using such sexually explicit language, because normally he would never turn to this side of making love. He could hear Brian quietly chuckling in satisfaction about the progress he had made: both the fact that he had managed to get his hand inside Roger’s boxer shorts as the fact that Roger reacted like this to his filthy choice of words.

Slightly speeding up the movements of his hand, Brian continued: ‘Or maybe I should bend you over the bed and fuck you so agonisingly deeply that you’ll rediscover all of that perfect body of yours. And by the time I’ll be constantly forcing myself against your prostate and stroking your leaking erection in time – because honestly, you’re already dripping by now,’ Brian grinned as he dragged his finger over the wet tip of Roger’s cock, ‘you’ll realise how much your love your body and everything about it, just like I do.’

Roger, fumbling to find something to oppose to Brian’s assumptions while trying not to buck up against the touch of Brian’s hand down there, ended up saying: ‘You’re lying to yourself, Bri. You can’t… can’t possibly want me, looking like this.’

‘I want you so damn badly, you honestly have no idea. Maybe this might give you something of an impression, though,’ Brian whispered in his ear as he finally dragged Roger’s boxer shorts down the curve of his ass and rubbed himself against Roger’s now naked backside, his hard cock against Roger’s uncovered body making the younger man groan. ‘But you won’t be getting that right away, of course. I’ll first entertain you with some handiwork, if you know what I mean,’ Brian added, and before Roger could even blink, he already felt Brian’s fingertips working their way from the hem of his just discarded underwear to his bottom, slipping them between his buttocks and teasing his entrance with his long, slender fingers that never failed to make Roger shudder.

‘Brian…’ Roger half-sighed, half-moaned. ‘Don’t do that…’ he tried, but he hear how feeble his own words sounded, how meaningless, how defenceless now that they both knew so damn well that he was starting to get horny, not to say that he already was; Brian’s hands having moved down to his nether regions had made him quite hard already, and given that teasing and touching him was a continuing process, he could feel himself getting more and more sexually frustrated. By intensifying the speed and the strength with in which he stroked, squeezed, and teased Roger’s dick, that had been badly neglected due to his reticence towards sex for the last weeks, Brian made him harder faster than Roger could remember he usually did, while the fingers of Brian’s other hands continuing to rub and superficially enter him prepared him for whatever he had in mind to do with him.

‘I know you want this,’ Brian breathed hotly, flicking his thumb over the head of Roger’s cock, and Roger growled in badly-oppressed satisfaction, clinging tighter onto the pillow and hoping it would distract him from Brian’s way too skilled hands – which it of course didn’t.

‘Goddamnyou, I do. I just… I still don’t want you to see me like this,’ Roger objected when he realised that denying Brian’s assumption would have been plain lying.

‘But baby, there’s no need to feel nervous,’  Brian told him once again, his fingers working on various places in Roger’s lower body distracting the drummer from the conversation. ‘It’s not like I’ve never seen you naked before. And in case you forgot – I’ll be naked, too,’ he chuckled.

‘Yeah, but you’re perfect when you’re naked, and I’m… _me_ ,’ Roger whispered softly, inwardly cursing himself for failing to oppress the tendency of pressing back against Brian’s fingers that he knew would soon find their way inside of him if he didn’t stop his boyfriend anywhere in the near future.

‘Which is the equivalent of perfect, thank you very much,’ Brian said as he rose up and pressed his lips against Roger’s neck once again. ‘Roger, darling, I’ve seen you naked a million times before, and never, ever, _ever_ have I seen anything I would want to change about you, and this certainly won’t be the first time. And on top of that, you deserve some fun.’

‘After I’ve lose more weight, that is. Brian, really, you shouldn’t want to fuck me while I’m fat,’ Roger tried once more, but when he felt Brian propping himself up behind him and reaching over to the other side of the bed, he knew that he wasn’t simply going to leave him, but that he was going to find the items required to take whatever was going on to a next level.

‘Not a word. You’re perfect, you’re flawless, and I’m going to prove that I totally fancy you and your body. On your front, pretty boy, and let me do the rest,’ Brian ordered sensually as he disappeared for a short moment. While Roger was aware that this was probably the only chance he’d get to escape, he couldn’t bring himself to move while Brian leant over to the drawer of his nightstand to probably grab a bottle of lube. He knew his partner was going to get his way sooner or later – whether he was going to turn around himself or Brian had to flip him over, whether he was going to give him his body right away or Brian was going to have to pin his body down to the bed for proper access, he was going to end up on his belly with Brian’s cock between his legs anyway, and he was starting to mind this prospect less with every passing second of being turned on. Goddamnit, _of course_ he wanted to make love with Brian, _of course_ he wanted Brian to push himself inside of him and pound into him until he would be too ecstatic to worry about his appearance, _of course_ he wanted Brian to relieve his sexual frustration like only he could. But though his growing erection and overall horniness told him to just go along with whatever Brian had in mind with him, his insecurity made him unable to move, speak, or even blink. He simply stayed exactly where he was and wondered dimly what to do to possibly put a halt to the ever-advancing events.

Just as Roger was contemplating the idea of discretely pulling his underwear back on and tell Brian that he first wanted to have a more extensive talk with him about his current body image before he was willing to consider giving him access to his _some_ parts of his body, Brian’s fingers returned, deliciously slick this time. Roger instantly let go of his previous thoughts; he nearly jumped up in shock, but was prevented by Brian’s free hand being placed over his side to keep him in place.

‘Relax, baby, I’m just going to prepare you,’ Brian comforted him as he immediately started to tease his entrance mercilessly, his fingers that were all slippery with the more than sufficient amount of lube first rubbing him up, after which he simply pushed one of his digits inside of him, making Roger grab onto the pillow in front of him as Brian pushed it in deeper.

‘Brian!’ Roger uttered, hoping that mentioning – moaning, rather – his boyfriend’s name wouldn’t betray that he was secretly enjoying himself more than he was willing to admit.

‘You’re all tensed up; there’s no need for that,’ Brian told him as he withdrew his finger shortly, only to push it in even more powerfully right after, making Roger hiss in both shock and secret delight.

‘No need? I bet you’d do the same if I was pushing my fingers into you like this,’ Roger remarked, though it was nowhere near accusatorily; they both knew that the drummer loved _anything_ that included Brian being dominant over him, and even his current crippling insecurity didn’t manage to make him seriously object against Brian’s actions. 

‘Fingers? Like the plural of one finger?’ Brian said, and before Roger could even think about what his capturer meant by those words, he already _felt_ the meaning of them as Brian bluntly pushed in two more digits, making his victim gasp.

‘Brian! Oh my God, I-’ Roger groaned as he wriggled around on the mattress, but Brian kept him steady yet kindly in place with his arm. The limb that had previously been resting on his side, was now wrapped around Roger’s torso; its grip was tight and firm and managed to shake off every form of protest from Roger’s side.

‘You love this,’ Brian whispered throatily against the shell of Roger’s ear. ‘You’ve always loved being dominated like this and your current mind set can’t change that, just like whatever you think about yourself can’t change the way I think about you as beautiful, attractive, and very skinny. You just have to be reminded of this all,’ Brian’s slowly pumped his lube-coated fingers in and out of Roger, making him loose and slick and most of all less critical of Brian’s intentions as his horniness grew.

When Roger’s hisses and sighs of pain changed in those of delight, Brian continued: ‘This is what we’re going to do, babe. You’re simply going to lie here and enjoy yourself while I do the work – I’ll give you all the preparation you need, I’ll fuck you and I’ll jerk you off like you’ve never been before, and I’ll let you come without teasing you even once. I’ll lick you clean afterwards, slowly and wetly, exactly as you like it…’ Brian promised, and just when Roger – and with Roger, he mainly meant his dick, which was already fully swollen and dripping all over his hand – seemed to get excited about the plan, he discovered Brian’s real intentions when the guitarist slyly added a prerequisite.

‘I’ll do anything you like and you don’t have to return any favours, apart from one.’

‘And that is?’ Roger asked huskily, badly oppressed lust and excitement audible in his voice, though feared that his condition was going to make Roger a whole lot less compliant. Still, that didn’t keep Brian from telling Roger, because he knew he would get his way in the end.

‘That you say out loud, with true conviction, that you’re not fat, that you’re skinny and very pretty and not in need of losing any weight, because you’re perfect the way you are,’ Brian said.

‘What?’ Roger asked, happy that Brian couldn’t see that his eyes snapped open all at once, because he didn’t want the older man to see his surprise. When Brian had asked him to return just one favour, Roger had expected it to be something like ‘you’re changing the bed covers afterwards,’ or ‘you’re sucking me off next time’; whatever he had been expecting, it surely wasn’t him having to agree with the lies Brian was trying to make him believe.

‘You heard me. You’re going to say it whether you like it or not, because it’s the truth.’

‘It’s _not_ the truth, and I won’t say it-’ Roger started, but he didn’t manage to finish his sentence when he felt the blunt tip of Brian’s cock pressing against his entrance, ready to enter him any moment, and Roger both couldn’t _and_ didn’t want to oppose to this prospect.

‘Won’t you? Let’s see about that,’ Brian chuckled, and before Roger could utter another word, his ability to speak was exchanged for a low, intense groan the moment he felt Brian’s cock sink back inside of him, pushing in slowly and steadily, working himself past the tight ring of muscle millimetre by agonising millimetre. Roger’s needy groans and shrieks of the indistinguishable mixture of pain and pleasure the actions caused him to feel, confirmed Brian’s suspicions that he should carry on exactly as he was, so the guitarist continued to press himself deeper into his partner.

‘Fuck, Brian! What are you-’ Roger growled in a low voice he could only ever produce in situations when he was either furious or extremely horny, the last of which seemed a more likely option than the first one to Brian, who knew that Roger was only protesting because he didn’t want to be seen because he somehow thought he was fat, an idea Brian hoped to talk straight out of his head.

‘I’m doing what I promised. Show you how perfect you are and how much I want you,’ Brian replied and continued to push in, which shut Roger up quite nicely. Once he had fully buried himself into Roger, Brian simply took a moment to appreciate the feeling. After these two abstinent weeks, it wasn’t just the searing hot tightness that gripped around his aching cock that made him feel ecstatic, but also the plain feeling of his body against Roger’s, his chest against Roger’s sweaty back, his arms so tightly around him that it surprised him that Roger was okay with it, considering his apparently very low self-esteem level that Brian desperately wanted to better. After a few long-lasting seconds of silence and stillness, as much as both of those concepts were possible with Roger wriggling beneath him, Brian decided that it was time for him to move to get the maximum amount of pleasure out of this.

But Brian wasn’t the only one enjoying himself – though the body image issues and overall insecurity made it hard for Roger to give in to the physical pleasure his boyfriend was trying to deliver him, he couldn’t fully cut out the sensation of Brian being inside of him. It felt like Brian was slightly softer than he had been before, when he had been grinding against him, but he still felt very big inside of him, and Roger simply loved the feeling of finally being stretched open this perfectly by Brian’s proud erection after not having felt this sensation for way too long. He therefore couldn’t oppress an unintelligible murmuring that soon changed into a series of cries and moans that were way louder than the sounds he had previously uttered.

‘I believe someone is enjoying himself despite everything, isn’t?’ Brian asked his boyfriend in between two of Roger’s frustrated groans, kissing his damp blond tresses.

‘Those are you-your words,’ Roger managed with his teeth clenched in frustration; both the sexual kind of frustration and the one he would always feel when he knew Brian was winning  something at his ‘expense’ – his  dignity and steadfastness, that was. He found himself facing a dilemma; after weeks of abstinence, he really did want to hook up with Brian and he certainly didn’t want to back out of it now that Brian had already positioned himself behind and inside of him. But at the same time, he still felt humiliated by just the thought of Brian seeing him naked as long as he looked the way he did at the moment.

Soon enough though, Roger could feel Brian getting bigger, harder inside of him, and he groaned in painful satisfaction; Brian was so deliciously huge when he was completely turned on, and the feeling of constantly being filled with his rock hard cock was so utterly satisfying that Roger couldn’t keep up with his indignant and distant attitude any longer.  He failed to oppress a helpless cry of approval when Brian, knowing he liked it rough, forcefully pushed his way inside of him again.

‘Ah! Ahhh, Brian…’ Roger hissed, and though he tried very hard not to do anything that might indicate that he was starting to enjoy himself, him habitually pressing back against Brian was all the both of them needed to know to realise that Roger was fighting a losing battle.

‘Correction: I’m _sure_ someone is starting to enjoy himself despite everything,’ Brian corrected his own previous statement smugly. When the drummer’s attempt to stifle a moan by biting down the pillow failed miserably, Brian’s amused and self-satisfied chuckle was all Roger needed to hear to know that he was not capable, both physically and emotionally, to put a halt to this, and that it was probably better to let Brian – and his own cursed lustful feelings – have their way. For the first time that evening, he allowed his mind and body to go with the flow, and he couldn’t deny that it felt really fucking great when pressing back against Brian at the exact right time was rewarded with the deepest thrust so far. Roger couldn’t yet say that he was completely comfortable, because he sure as hell _wasn’t_ with Brian’s arm wrapped around his naked torso, and he _certainly_ had no intentions to oblige to Brian’s demand that consisted of admitting that he was skinny, but he had to admit that he was getting a lot more out of cooperating than by counterworking.

That Roger had given up on trying to get rid of Brian’s body on top of his, and that he was even starting to cooperate with his capturer, became only more apparent when he failed to oppress the tendency to push back against Brian more and more often. Naturally, he was trying to meet Brian’s thrusts as much as possible, but it turned out that he was only messing up the rhythm his boyfriend tried to build up when he gripped Roger’s hips and held them still, preventing him from moving.

‘I can’t fuck you properly when you move around like that, now can I?’ Brian reminded Roger before he could even complain about it. He pressed Roger closely against himself, and before the drummer could start objecting, Brian suddenly pulled him towards him at the moment he bucked his hips forwards, forcing himself deeply enough into Roger to nudge his prostate powerfully all at once.

‘Brian!’ Roger squealed the name of his boyfriend, hands helplessly clawing at the pillow he had been holding onto all along, stars of dizziness dancing before his eyes. Surely, he tried not to show Brian how needy he was, but damnit, how was he supposed to stay all calm and rational while his boyfriend buried his cock so deep inside of him that it made him want to scream?

‘Ah, that must have felt good, didn’t it?’ Brian assumed, and Roger nodded frantically.

‘Yesss… Please, Bri- please, do- do that again!’ he added in the same high-pitched voice.

‘I didn’t hear the words yet…’ Brian chanted, and Roger groaned in disapproval. In the heat of the moment, he had forgotten about Brian’s aim for just a second, but now he remembered Brian’s dirty little plan, he reminded himself not to give in to the only lie he had ever heard Brian speak.

‘If you seriously think I- I will say them, you’re _mistaken_ ,’ he informed Brian firmly.

‘Am I?’ Brian questioned as he rocked forwards again and prodded Roger’s prostate with ease.

‘Fuck!’ Roger cried out breathlessly as he helplessly wriggled around, ‘fuck, fuck, fuck-’

‘That’s what we intend to do indeed, yes,’ Brian agreed, ‘but there’s an easier way to do this,’ the guitarist spoke, and as Roger felt Brian’s hands touching his side, he instantly understood the hint and pushed the pillow away to turn and lie on his belly, but Brian gripped onto the cushion and placed it back on the spot it had been lying before.

‘No, don’t do that. You wanted my pillow, so it’s staying right here. You’re gonna bend yourself over it to push out that pretty ass of yours a little more, and then we’ll see how many times in a row I can hit your prostate before you’ll start _begging_ for release,’ Brian ordered with a satisfied grin on his face when he put Roger down so that his hips were right above the pillow, which indeed helped to push his bottom out and therefore make it easier for Brian to make his way inside of him and take things from there. ‘And if you say the words, I’ll do it so often that you’ll easily come untouched,’ Brian then added sensually, giving his words more power by pressing deeply inside of Roger to cause the exact sensation of his prostate being touched. ‘But if you don’t, I’ll leave you on the verge of coming for as long as it will take for you to give in.’

‘You’re so fucking _mean_ ,’ Roger groaned in protest.

‘If that’s what it takes to show you, I’m not afraid of being mean,’ Brian told him sternly as he turned Roger over, positioning him on top of the pillow. He didn’t even need a second to pick it up where they had left it; as soon as he pulled back and pressed into Roger again, he effortlessly created a rhythm that was both steady enough to make Roger completely submit to him, yet irregular enough to make sure the fun wouldn’t be over too soon.

‘Brian! Oh my God, oh- fuck…’ Roger cursed huskily. Thanks to the pillow Brian had pushed under his hips and which had manoeuvred his body into a perfect position, each of Brian’s thrusts was perfectly delivered into him, and the searing hot sensation of Brian’s throbbing cock constantly filling him was making the drummer lose all control. Despite himself, Roger helplessly thrusted into the pillow, ignoring the ever-expanding wet stain of precum that formed on the pillow case beneath him as he tried to match up with Brian’s movements in order to receive the maximum amount of pleasure out of this attempt of Brian to prove him that he looked great just the way he was, which was something Roger still dared to cast doubt to, even though Brian repeatedly told him otherwise.

That ameliorating his body image was Brian’s main goal (even though finally getting to fuck his boyfriend again after those multiple sexless weeks must have been a definite plus to the guitarist as well), slowly drifted to the surface again as Brian spoke up. ‘Come on, darling. You know what you have to do. All you have to do is say the word,’ Brian told him fatherly, but Roger feverishly shook his head, clinging tighter onto the pillow he had grabbed earlier that evening as Brian continued to pound into him. ‘Say it, pretty boy,’ Brian grunted between his movements, ‘All you have to do is repeat my words, and I’ll let you come harder than you’ve ever done before.’

Though that promise of Brian sounded very tempting, and though Roger was very much in need to finally let go and feel the ecstasy of orgasm rippling through his body, the determination to not give in to Brian’s false words and promises was stronger. ‘No,’ Roger gritted out, ‘I’m not lying to myself-’

‘You won’t be lying to yourself. You’d be speaking nothing but the truth, so just _say it_ ,’ Brian ordered with a particularly deep thrust that nearly had Roger scrambling to all fours and off the bed, if only the weight of Brian’s body pressing down on him wouldn’t have kept him right in place.

‘Brian, I- I told you I’m not… not saying it!’ Roger was panting by now; his fingers were trembling, his entire body was covered in swear, and his badly neglected  cock was painfully hard. He felt like just one stroke of Brian’s fingers, one swirl on his tongue, could be enough to finish him off; the thing was that Roger knew that this was never going to happen as long as he didn’t obey to Brian’s request.

‘I know you want this. You need your relief, and it’s right at your fingertips if you would just do as I tell you,’ Brian promised, and though it sounded really tempting to just give in and finally get that feeling of satisfaction he craved, Roger managed to reject the proposal with both visible and audible difficulty.

‘I’m _not_ saying it- ugh…’ Roger panted helplessly, but it was clear to both of them that his resistance had weakened to an all time low, so Brian gave it another shot. His words interspersed with powerful movements that made Roger groan and hiss and tear at the sheets in both sexual frustration and delight, Brian reminded him:

‘ _‘‘I am not fat, I’m skinny and I’m perfect just the way I am.’’_ Say it and I’ll let you come,’ Brian told him leisurely, and when the last words fell right in time with a soul-rending but utterly satisfying thrust, Roger, who by now was shouting helplessly and blabbering incoherently, had no other option than give in once he gained back control over his body and voice numerous seconds later.

‘Fine! Have… have it your way! I-I’m not fat and I’m fi… I’m fine the way I am!’ Roger finally cried out in his desperation for release, and though Brian was incredibly relieved to hear these words, he could not help wanting them to be a little more precise.

‘I’m afraid I missed something… If you’re not fat, then what are you?’ he asked calmly, forming a huge contrast to his boyfriend, who was kicking his legs and tearing at the sheets below him.

‘Skinny! I’m skinny, like I-I’ve always been, and now fucking _do_ something, Brian, _anything_!’ Roger was nearly sobbing by now, and Brian decided that though he would have preferred to have heard the word ‘perfect’ instead of ‘fine,’ and though he would have preferred to have heard the words being said with a little more sincerity instead of pure desperation, he knew that this was the first step into the right direction, and that it was time to let Roger have his reward.

‘Good boy,’ Brian murmured against the shell of Roger’s ear as he leant down, ‘very good indeed. That wasn’t too hard, now was it?’ As Roger managed nothing more than a helpless growl in response, Brian decided that he shouldn’t keep him in agony any longer, and he lifted Roger’s hips with one hand, to be able to cram the other hand between his body and the pillow, curling his fingers around his rock hard erection. Man, Brian was always surprised by just how hard Roger could get without even having a hand on him to stroke him or slightly squeeze him or simply touch him… It was a good thing that Roger had finally given in to his defeat and let him finish the job, Brian decided, because he was positive that if he had waited much longer, Roger would simply have come untouched, making Brian lose both his credibility and his plan of changing Roger’s view on himself.

Not wasting any time, Brian’s hand moved along Roger’s painfully hard cock, his fingers working fast and powerfully along the pulsing main vein, causing Roger to pant and squirm and shout all at the same time. The drummer wanted to move around to get more friction between them, but Brian once again proved not to be handing out any space for him to determine how or when they were going to bring this whole sex scene in the shape of a lesson in body positivity to a positive ending. Brian wriggled his arm around Roger’s chest for a better grip on his body – and to let him know that he was in absolute charge of him – before thrusting in again. This movement fell right in place with a powerful stroke and wrung a strangled cry from Roger, who now couldn’t hold out any longer; a second, equally helpless shriek escaped the drummer when the end turned out to be upon him even quicker than expected, and his whole body shocked and convulsed when he released himself into the palm of Brian’s hand in a series of milky white spurts.

‘Brian!’ Roger wailed the name of his boyfriend, eyes drawn close, hands clawing at the sheets below him, his entire body shaking while he rode out the most powerful orgasm he had had in ages. Brian, pleased with the reaction he had elicited, managed to hold out just a couple of thrusts, before he couldn’t oppress the ever-growing sexual frustration any longer and let himself go deep inside of Roger, shockwaves of pleasure running up and down his spine.

It took Brian a second to recover from the orgasm that was strong enough to make stars appear before his eyes, but when he did, the first thing he naturally did was focus on was Roger. His boyfriend was sprawled out all over the mattress, breathing intensely while dazedly trying to make sense out of all that had just happened to him, only to conclude that he was very, _very_ spent and tired, and he buried his face into the pillows beneath him to block out all the sensations around him. The sound of Brian’s heavy breathing, the feeling of his body on top of his, his softening cock still buried deeply inside of him, his cum dripping down Roger’s thighs, and even the dusky lightning in the bedroom was starting to get too much for him.

‘Roger?’ Brian whispered as he effortlessly slipped out of his boyfriend, rolled off his spent body and spun him around to make him look at him. Not even to Brian’s surprise, Roger’s eyes were filled with tears, and the act of pressing him closely against his chest only seemed to make him even more emotional. Roger’s soundless tears soon changed into soft sniffling, and by the time this eventually morphed into still quiet but heart-breaking sobbing, he had  already been unconditionally taken into the arms of the guitarist, who was cradling his upset boyfriend against his chest, his hand smoothing over Roger’s sweat-slicked back as he quietly spoke to him; the meaningless but well-meant words of consolation one would utter to a person in desperate need of comfort.

‘Hush… hush hush hush, Roger. Darling, it’s alright, it’s all going to be alright,’ Brian whispered to him, and for the first time in weeks, Roger finally allowed himself to simply be held by him. He clamped onto Brian like a vice, needing

‘It’s n-not alright,’ Roger both sobbed and hiccupped at the same time, burying his face deeper in the mass of curls of his boyfriend. ‘I feel so… so helpless and fat a-and ugly lately, and I can’t- can’t get rid of those thoughts.’

‘I’m going to help you get rid of those nasty thoughts. You’re so pretty and honestly skinny, and you deserve to have a much better self-esteem and body image than this.’

‘Do you- do you really think so?’ Roger asked, needing to hear Brian’s words once more  now that they were in a situation that the older man didn’t need him to believe him for his own advantage.

‘Of course I really think so. You’re my pretty little angel and of course I’ll be right at your side; that’s what I’m your boyfriend for, after all. But you have to promise me to stop over-exercising or not eating or crash-dieting or whatever you’ve been doing to try and lose weight, because I can’t stand the thought of you harming your body on purpose,’ Brian added sternly, and Roger immediately nodded in response.

‘I promise I’ll try my best to stop,’ Roger sobbed.

‘I know you will,’ Brian whispered comfortingly, before pulling roger in for an even closer hug and a kiss on his forehead, and Roger’s nodding marked the beginning of a long moment of silence in which they crawled closer to each other and just enjoyed being together.

Then, just when they were silently, dreamily lying half-next, half-over each other, Roger’s head resting on the arm Brian had draped around his shoulder, a loud growl rose up from the drummer’s stomach, making both of them first look up at each other and blink in confusion, before bursting out into a helpless laughter.

‘Well, that sure was unexpected, even to me,’ Roger giggled by the time they had gained their composure again, resting his head back against Brian’s arm again.

‘I’m just happy to see you smiling again,’ Brian said as he propped himself up on his free arm to press a kiss against Roger’s damp tresses, before carefully freeing the arm on which Roger was still resting so he could sit up. ‘When was the last time you’ve eaten, pretty boy?’ the guitarist asked him as he rubbed over Roger’s belly, and Roger blushed a little.

‘Well, that must have been…’ Roger started, but as his voice died out and Brian could see him squint his eyes as if to think very hard about when this last happened, the guitarist already knew it had been a while. ‘I think breakfast this morning,’ Roger eventually admitted shamefully.

‘And you hardly ate anything at all this morning! I threw away more than half of your bowl of cereal!’ Brian cried, to which Roger blushed even more. ‘Darling, honestly. Don’t you _ever_ do this to yourself again, promise?’ Brian asked him, and Roger nodded.

‘Promise,’ Roger squeaked.

‘Alright, you’re staying here, and I’m gonna fetch you some food. I’m thinking about some strawberries, chocolate sauce, and hopefully, we still have some whipped cream from the party of last Friday in the fridge. How does that sound?’ Brian asked, and the saucy wink he added to his announcement was something Roger did not need at all to understand that this was heading straight into another sex scene.

‘Are you already in for a second time?’ Roger asked as he propped himself up on his elbows, and Brian could see by the sparkle in his eyes – among other body signals – that Roger, in any case, was _definitely_ ready for more.

‘Of course I am. I personally think we have some sex to catch up, and judging by the state of your body…’ Brian said as his finger travelled lower to softly run it along the length of Roger’s slightly hardened cock, ‘you think so, too,’ Brian winked at him and stood up from the bed.

‘You know me, right? I’m always in for more,’ Roger told him.

‘Are you sure? I believe you said something that proved otherwise this evening. Something like… _‘’Never having sex again sounds great to me,’’_ ’ Brian quoted teasingly, to which Roger rolled his eyes.

‘If you promise not to never use that against me and just go get that chocolate sauce now, I’ll lick it off your body. _Every part_ of your body,’ Roger promised.

‘That’s what I wanted to hear,’ Brian chuckled, loving the double meaning of those words – both the fact that this promise meant that Roger would start eating again, and the fact that they would soon return to what was probably going to be another spicy sex scene. ‘I’ll be on my way. Do you need anything else?’

‘No, just the things you mentioned. I just need you to hurry, because I feel like I’m going to pass out if I don’t get something to eat anywhere soon,’ Roger added a little shamefully when his stomach started to protest against the shortage of food it had dealt with all day long.

‘Poor baby!’ Brian said, leaning over to rub Roger’s cheek, before he got up from the bed again. ‘I’ll be right back with chocolate sauce, some strawberries, and the… white substance you requested,’ Brian snickered, and Roger sighed.

‘I should have seen that coming, I guess,’ he shrugged, which turned out to make things even worse.

‘I’m sure there will be more things you’ll see _coming_ tonight,’ Brian answered with a saucy wink.

‘Yeah, I’ll see the floor coming towards me when I pass out due a lack of nutrition,’ Roger chuckled pedantically, and Brian, though this was a rather alarming prospect,  smiled at the fact that Roger finally seemed to be happy again; that he finally seemed to be in for jokes again, and that he might finally start looking at himself differently.

‘Okay, I get it, I’ve made enough awful jokes tonight,’ Brian sighed.

‘I’d better shut you up before you’re tempted to make any more of them, and I think you know _exactly_ how I’m going to do that,’ Roger said leisurely.

Brian, after having flashed him a meaningful glance to make sure he knew exactly what Roger meant by that ill-hidden sexual remark, instantly vanished around the corner of the door. ‘I’ll be running!’ he cried at him by the time Roger could already hear him pacing down the stairs, and the drummer smiled softly to himself. He sat upright, momentarily forgetting that this meant that he was forced to face himself in the huge mirror on the wardrobe across from him. He habitually threw the covers over his body to cover himself up, but then thought about the things Brian had told him.

_You’re perfect. You’re flawlessly skinny and in no need to lose any weight._

Though Roger wanted to so badly, he couldn’t simply suddenly start believing these words after having believed the opposite for ages, but he decided to at least try and look at himself differently now. Slowly, he lowered the fabric he was using to cover himself with, revealing more of his chest, stomach, hips, and legs. He frowned a little at the rolls of belly fat and decided to stand up, hoping this position would make him feel a little better about himself. As he was standing in front of the large mirror, just like he had done earlier that night, he slowly looked up and down his body, his fingertips following the body parts he was looking at. He stared at himself intently for a moment, not knowing what to think; Brian’s words were still lingering in his memory, but he simply couldn’t ignore or push away the small voice in the back of his mind that had been telling him all that time how fat he was and how desperately he needed to shed more than a few pounds.

Completely absorbed in his own thoughts, Roger didn’t hear the footsteps of his boyfriend walking up the stairs, and therefore startled the moment a voice caught his attention.

‘You’re so beautiful, you know that?’ Roger suddenly heard, and he turned around to find Brian standing in the doorway, looking at him with a small but most sincere smile of his face. Hastily, Roger sat down on the bed behind him and covered his naked body with the first handful of covers and sheets he managed to grab.

‘I- didn’t know you were there,’ Roger mumbled, awkwardly facing down.

‘Darling, you don’t have to cover up for me. I’ve seen you naked a million times before, and you look prettier every time I see you,’ Brian told him sweetly as he treaded into the room, placed the food he had brought with him down on the nightstand, and positioned himself next to Roger.

‘Do you really think so?’ Roger asked, needing to hear Brian’s positive opinion on him just once more.

‘Of course I think so. And I’m going to remind you of this until you’ll start believing it, too,’ he answered as if he could sense Roger’s thoughts, after which he pushed a strand of blond behind his ear and kissed his temple. Roger closed his eyes at the feeling of Brian’s fingertips and his lips against his body; they were now so careful, so tender and loving, and the prospect of these hands and lips soon turning rough and naughty, made his spent cock twitch slightly.

‘You might be right – I guess you’ll have to make me believe so,’ Roger dared him while kicking the covers as far away as possible, smiling when Brian gladly agreed to this request by pressing his shoulders down to the mattress, covering Roger’s body with his own, his fingers instantly all over his body as a silent yet hopeful promise of an amazing sequel to the first adventure of that night.


End file.
